The body battle.

How much do you way?  Do you hide the scales in a bid to ignore the extra pounds you think you've put on this festive season?  Are you pleased for the extra inch your bum has gained?  Or do you not give a shit about at all?

I'm watching Thismorning on ITV and they have a 'Fat Fighters' section where they are planning to help some severely over weight people shed the pounds and feel happy.  Fair enough, that's the usual thing at this time of year.  But it got me thinking.  If a person who is addicted to food eats themselves to near death, why are they so often just told by their doctors to go jogging and lay off the fast food?  Would they tell a young woman who starves herself to look like the tiny size zero celebs and models, to just have a burger?  No, they would be forced into a specialist clinic where therapists and nutritionists work day and night to help get to the root cause of the issue.  So why is it that we do not treat the morbidly obese this way?  After all they are killing themselves too?

I suffer from disordered eating myself.  It all stems from my childhood - as many other disordered eating problems do.  I often hate the way I look, and have done on and off for many years but as I get older my opinion on my body changes.  I am one of those people though who denies myself a pair of scales in an attempt to keep away from the mental challenge I face of thinking "if I just loose those few pounds....".

So many young women like myself still suffer from these feelings of body shame, especially after seeing how much weight 'A celeb' has lost after eating biscuits and chips "Honestly it just fell off!".  Yeah and I can walk on water!!!  We forget that these celebs have an army of personal trainers, chefs and counsellors managing their weight loss every step of the way... oh and the wonder that is air brushing.

I try my hardest to ignore the little voice inside my head telling me off for having a pizza and sneaking the chocolate decorations off the tree while sipping on a nice cool beer.  It's hard though.  At times I want to hide away from the world in my joggers and a huge t-shirt.  Other times I'm out in town in a pair of hotpants and high heels baring all to the bar and loving it!  I hope that those who suffer from these feelings or weight problems both over and under weight, can find the help they need or at least manage to accept what they are and they do not need to look like Kate Moss.  I will try to keep my attitude positive, even though I still want to be taller and slimmer, I know in my heart that what I have is good enough and I should be proud of my body!